Grandaddy
“That night, I thought I was going to lose her.”
My grandpa says with a look of worry.
It’s Christmas of 2021.
It’s me, my wife, my dad, my stepmom, my cousin, and my grandparents.
I look at my grandma noticing how much weight she has lost. Frustrated as to why we can’t figure out what’s going on with her. My grandpa is half looking at the TV, half being the entertainer and storyteller.
My dad is deleting contacts that he doesn’t know out of his phone turning it towards me saying a name that’s a relic from my past friends.
Back Story :
Our contacts somehow collided when I was a senior because I think he took one of my old phones. Some of the names, I awkwardly laugh because it’s an old crush or a random weed dealer…
My grandma tells my cousin to get the Bop It. She’s so competitive and loves a good game that will make her laugh.
He grabs it, and that familiar breakbeat starts to command us
BOP IT, TWIST IT, PASS IT
We all giggle like kids.
It was yet another wonderful night with my family.
My wife is a love on people, person. She makes sure that we make a point of seeing those who we love.
I’m not naturally that way, but I feel like I have grown in that way.
So, months later I go by myself to Youngsville. To hang out with my grandparents. My grandma tells me and my grandpa to go eat because her appetite makes her not want anything.
So, we decide on Red Robin. YUM. We get in the car and laugh about the way gospel music sounds now. We switch to the jazz station and I talk about how jazz is in everything now. How the jazz students of the 90s and 2000s have become incredible artists and producers.
He nods and says “oh wow, I’m glad the legacy lives on”.
We pull up to Red Robin and have a burger with more fries on standby. “Heyyy this burger ain’t half bad” he chuckles.
We start to dig into it, as we do.
I talk about my spirituality and life.
About how much my parents splitting up in my early 20s affected me.
How it’s all so different now.
He talks about how he looks at fatherhood because of his father. How he passed on traits to my uncle and father, and how he looks at me and sees things that come from him and his brothers. We each ordered another round of fries and honey mustard because we’re never actually full in this family, and roll out.
We go and see my cousin at his job. He’s surprised because he didn’t know I was coming through. My grandpa laughs at how flustered he is and says “HE WAS SUPRISED WASN’T HE?!, you know how much you mean to him”.
I say I do and wish I could be around more.
We get in the car and he talks about the responsibility of being the oldest, and how he is proud of me.
Another amazing day with my grandparents.
On the way home, I call my wife and talk about how I’ve never noticed the similarities I have with him. She laughs and talks about how she’s always seen it.
Fast forward a couple of months later my dad calls and says that they have found cancer in my grandpa.
He ends up in the hospital pretty quickly. My wife and I drive back and forth from hours away to make sure we can spend time with him.
I started writing this essay during my first hospital visit.
As my wife is holding my grandpa’s hand.
I’m not a comforter in the way she is.
He and I both know how we comfort people because comforting people through words is a thing that I picked up from my dad who picked it up from my grandma and grandpa.
It isn’t long before me and my sister are singing at his funeral. Another things we use to comfort people, music.
It’s taken me so long to write this, but here I am with my grandpa’s shirt on that still smells like him. Sitting outside, thinking about how much a person can do and be in life. As a black man who has seen and been through so much. He sat across from me and laughed and smiled over some bottomless fries at Red Robin. And said this is where you come from.
I’m thankful for every moment.
I’ve tried to be better at keeping up with family, but it’s tough. Life is always happening. Maybe I can take my cousins on a trip or catch up with my aunties and uncles over some fries.
Where we can smile, laugh, and talk about where we come from.